Push and Pull
by Luhlia
Summary: Push and Pull. It's not just with waterbending anymore. Everybody is doing it now. Makorra, slight-Masami, and other implied pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Legend of Korra.

**Author's Notes: **My first LoK fic. I hope I didn't do a terrible job. I thought I wouldn't be writing for this fandom but, oh well, my muse won't stop plaguing me with words to write this.

Post-The Aftermath.

* * *

**Push and Pull**

Pema gives _them_ the vacant rooms in _her_ hallway, the one next from Tenzin's family's hallway, the hallway in which her room is and now it's _their _hallway. There is no sense in labeling them that, really, but her mind just automatically creates the thought. She doesn't mind sharing, truly. (She's the one who invited _them_ over remember.) Asami takes space in the room adjacent to hers while the brothers occupy the rooms opposite theirs.

She thinks crossing paths with _them_ first thing in the morning won't be much of an ideal start for a good day.

She isn't bothered that Asami is just next door to her room. She isn't, truthfully.

No.

* * *

Asami apologizes to her.

Mako apologizes to her.

Bolin tries to make her laugh.

Jinora sneaks a glance, from Mako to her, from her to Mako.

Ikki giggles.

Meelo is Meelo.

Tenzin assures her and accommodates _them._

Pema pats her back and comforts _them._

Korra wonders of what Lin Bei Fong's doing.

They're all trying to do something and Korra ─ she ─ she doesn't know what she's trying to do.

_Mako apologizes to her._ She is sorry too, but not for the same reason anymore.

Korra apologizes to Asami.

* * *

She doesn't spend too much time around them, instead she trains. And then meditate. Train, meditate, train, meditate, train, meditate, train, meditate…'cause that's all she's got to do because she's the Avatar, damn it. And she's supposed to master all the four elements but air is still out of her grasp, too far away, shapeless, refusing, unrelenting. Frustration is building up on her but she has to stay patient, _patience Korra, _that's what she needs. She needs to learn patience, has to have patience. And relax. But focused. Oh Spirits! How does one stays relaxed and focused at the same time she doesn't know.

Right foot. Left foot. Step. Step. Turn. And then back again.

Breathe. Relax. Focus.

Somebody disturbs the peace, and then she whirls around. She finds Mako.

A deep sigh. "Do you need anything?"

He is silent for a while before he says, "Pema asked me to fetch you for dinner."

She replies, "Of course."

They walk back to the house silently, her arms folded under her chest, his hands tucked inside his pockets. Fists filled with _so many things _they have yet to let go.

It surprises her that Mako takes the initiative. "Thank you for doing this for us."

Korra tilts her head. Doing what for them exactly? Coming from Mako it might mean a lot of things, but she settles with the most obvious.

"Yeah. You don't have to thank me over and over. It's nothing. I'm sure Tenzin and Pema's always glad to help. And that's what friends do, right?"

There is Over and Friends in one sentence, no, in the whole of what she said. _Right._

Korra doesn't fail to notice how Mako winces. She pretends not to see it. She didn't mean any harm really.

She clears her throat.

"So, well… How do you all find living here in the island?" Small talk, Korra, small talk.

"Everyone's nice."

She nods. Well, among the acolytes and the White Lotus sentries there couldn't be anyone that's…oppressive. It reminds her that the people who live there apart from Tenzin's family (aside from creating a long line of air benders) have duties to fulfill and jobs to do.

She thinks of saying 'sorry that we don't have personal servants' but that's so bad, or 'there's no pool here but there's a great place to swim too with fresh water' but that's not better either and she isn't sure if she's willing to share that place with _them, _or maybe 'how's Asami?' but that might be a bit too intruding, or maybe she should just shut up because she's never really good at sociable talk with Mako or with people in general. She hadn't had practice since she's cooped up in a compound with sentries and old masters so she didn't have any friends before, _okay_.

So shut up it is.

"I've always wondered how it would be like living here." Mako mutters in a soft tone he hasn't used around her for a while. Korra wonders what is Mako's tone like when he talks to just Asami.

When they arrive in the dining room everyone's already taken their places. Korra sits on the other edge of the table opposite Tenzin, her usual spot. Bolin is at her left. Mako to her right beside Meelo and across him is Asami.

The table looks too crowded.

They, minus her, talk about things appropriate for dinner and appropriate for children. Tenzin updates them on the status of the city (only the positive of course) and Pema (Korra notices) makes sure that the additional three fits in, like family. And she thinks that she feels like she wants to see her mother and father and Katara and that she misses home.

Mako says something not broody and not uptight and it uplifts Asami that she smiles. Pema glances at her with a sad knowing look but she looks down and shakes her head. She wants to say 'no, no Pema. You've got it all wrong 'cause you're not just like me. You're more like Asami, the sweet and gentle kind. I'm more like Lin, almost, somehow, barely. And Mako's a terrible Tenzin.' But she doesn't and she won't, not even later or the next time they talk.

Everyone takes notice of her not-so-typical silence. She tells them she's tired. Very tired, and she really is.

Korra begins building forts.

* * *

On the next days, not spending too much time with _them_ becomes totally avoiding _them._ And it helps, a lot, that Pema makes _them_ preoccupied enough that they don't feel helpless and 'useless' as Mako had put it. But Bolin shows up because he loves to show up and because he just likes sticking around with her whenever he grumbles 'hate being the third wheel.' It makes her want to snap or stomp him with earth bending, but because he's Bolin she doesn't.

Korra just grits her teeth.

She stops meditating for his sake and they talk, meaning _normal_ talk and not the awkward talk, for about a good fifteen minutes but then he springs the Mako stuff and then the Asami stuff, and Hiroshi Sato, and Tahno, and the Equalists, and Amon, and then she loses it. She stands up abruptly and Bolin apologizes (there's much too freaking sorry around her and it's sickening).

She walks away from Bolin with a hurried excuse of 'I have to go somewhere.' She just needs to go some place where there's no stifling air involving the guilt, and the burden, the disappointment, the frustration, and Mako. Air Temple Island is just too small.

* * *

She has always been in perpetual motion so being still for too long is such a torture and if she meditates even a minute more she just might explode. She has to do something, some pushing, yes, she needs something to push herself more or an avatar thing that will make her feel as if she's made some progress, as miniscule as it maybe. So she sets out for the city's streets despite Tenzin's warning.

She finds herself strolling once again central park, alone this time, and she unsuspectingly sees Tahno there. He is leaning on the bridge with his shoulders hunched and his sights set on the water streaming below. She approaches him.

"Hey Tahno…"

He shifts his head in her direction and an acknowledging light passes his eyes.

"Oh, hey Avatar…"

He looks at her and waits. She licks her lips and then does a double take when she realizes she has no idea what to say. She scratches her head.

"How have you been?" She asks and she really has to learn how to not be so straightforward too.

Tahno doesn't seem to mind. "I'm… so-so, I guess."

"I've heard about the Satos."

She grimaces. "Yeah, that."

Tahno sensing the shift in the atmosphere changes the subject. "Should you be walking around alone? Where's your…polar bear-dog and your ferrets _friends_?"

_Friends._ Apparently, when shit hits the fan they can't be friends anymore. She can't blame them though. And she isn't going to tell any of this to Tahno. (Well, at least there's still Bolin.)

"It's not like I'm banned in this city. Its fine, I can handle myself." She smiles at him. His lips curl up a bit.

"So what brought you here? Don't you have Avatar duties?"

"And you had to remind me." She says bitterly. "That's the problem: I don't know what to do. I'm out of ideas and nobody's telling me." (Not Aang or the other past Avatars, not even Tenzin or Lin. Tarlokk doesn't count 'cause he drives her crazy with his _suggestions._)

Tahno looks at her skeptically with a raised brow. "Well, that makes the two of us. I have no idea what to do either, especially with my hands."

Korra looks at his hands and sure it _is_ trembling and as if trying to reach out – for water.

"Snap." She says, and it's like word vomit. She didn't even have to think about it.

"What?"

"I said: Snap your fingers. Like this." She shows him, the left first then the right. And she's got both her fingers busy snapping. Tahno doesn't follow her but he shakes his head and chuckles.

"Nice idea." The sarcasm is there but not as biting as it was before when they were…competitors. Now it's like a joke. "I'll try that, maybe, but don't blame me if it gets awfully annoying and I'm arrested for bothering others by snapping continuously."

She looks at her own hands, finds _she isn't _stopping, can't stop snapping so she curls her fists and then wiggle her hands.

_Exhale._

"Yeah, yeah." She laughs awkwardly.

"I'm sure you'll come around. You'll figure it out, what to do when the time comes. You're the Avatar." Tahno offers her a smile but it doesn't reach his eyes, not yet. She wishes that she could have that same conviction other people have on her so she'll feel alright, relieved, making some progress. But all she has is confidence and Amon had put a hole in it.

"Thanks. You too, I think, you'll figure it out."

"Thanks Korra."

Guilt comes crawling back.

* * *

She's brushing Naga's fur and he is suddenly there, taking space, hovering, and she gets the urge to shrug, shrug, shrug him off. She doesn't turn nor does she acknowledge his presence, she just pats Naga's head and leads the polar bear-dog to lie down. When Naga settles her head on her paws to sleep and close her eyes she whispers her goodnight.

She passes by him, he follows. And then their footsteps are in rhythm. Korra looks down at her feet, and count. One. Two. Three. And then add Asami. Four. Plus Bolin, he makes a Five. She takes the five steps. The distance is so off she could put another person in between them, space, no not space but Bolin or Asami.

She stops near the edge of a cliff, the one where she usually sits to stare at Aang's statue and wait to see if it would eventually talk to her, if only it would. She sits down and folds her legs under her but not to meditate. Mako puts himself beside her. The air in between them crackles with static. Korra counts again. One. It can't be just one, so she counts once more; one, two, three, four, five. She moves. There, it's a five. She doesn't know why it has to be a five but it just has to be.

Mako looks at her, probably wondering about her blatant display of moving away from him. She doesn't say anything but she stretches her arms upwards and pops her back and neck muscles. He gazes back to the statue.

"I'm sorry." He says, and she heaves a disappointed sigh.

"You keep saying that."

"I know but I just… I don't know what else to say."

Korra stares at her palms, curl and uncurl it.

"You don't have to."

"But we need to talk. At least that's what I think. It feels different with us now."

Of course it's different. She has crossed boundaries and he has burned bridges.

"But we don't have to."

"Korra…" He says, exasperated. She imagines how gentle his voice would be with Asami's name.

"I don't know what to say too." She admits. "I don't know what to do either. I keep trying to do things but it doesn't get me anywhere. I don't even know where to start."

Mako doesn't have an answer for her because the concept of being the Avatar is so lost in him; she has proven it when he accused her of framing Hiroshi on terms of jealousy. He has no idea, how an Avatar should not favor friends or its motherland over balance and peace. She has Roku as prime example.

The thought makes Mako narrow-minded in her eyes so she lets it go. She knows he's better than that. She is tired again, so she picks up the sticks that would line up as fences in her fort, and then earth would be next. Earth is a good stronghold, she remembers. Like the walls of Ba Sing Sei.

She assumes her meditation stance, straightens her back and closes her eyes.

"_Go_ to sleep Mako."

"Not until you return too."

She lacks restraint her masters say, so she would love for them to see how much restrain she could muster around this boy.

"You're distracting me."

"I'll be quiet."

"No, you're not." She counters and there is no answer. He _is _quiet. It annoys her.

She thinks of push and pull. Water is push and pull. Earth is strength and stability. Fire is breath and control. Air is invisible, untouchable, still unknown, she can't harness it.

Push and pull. Water has volume, fitting into shape of its container. Earth takes space. Air is encompassing. Fire, fire burns, it spreads and consumes, until there is nothing.

_Push. _She concentrates on push.

Breathe. In. Out. Patience. Relax. Focus. In. Out.

"You should be with Asami."

"She's asleep."

She so wants to snap at him with, _that's why you're here now?_ But Patience. Relax. Focus.

"She needs you. _I don't._" Korra makes sure it drips enough venom.

Mako grabs both her arms and tugs her close to him. Her eyes crack open and she is face to face with him, breaths away from each other exchanging glares.

"You're avoiding us! And now that I've come after you to talk you push me away! What is wrong with you? We want to help."

"You can't help! And like I said, _I don't need you!_" She yells, and she hopes that they don't wake anyone 'cause its going to be a terrible mess. "And I'm not avoiding you! I'm trying to do my job, empowering my use. I can't be a decorative Avatar forever. Unlike you I can't have a normal life."

They are silent for a moment. It's either Mako is digesting the fact about her duties and responsibilities or the words about not needing him, nonetheless, she can feel her heart hammer in her chest and hear it pound in her ears.

Korra disentangles herself from Mako's grip as she remembers space, space, space. Matter takes space and she has to count again. But she doesn't, instead she sheds off her boots. She stands and unravels the strings of her pelt. Her trousers go too and she is left with just her shorts and sleeveless top. She doesn't bother with the tie in her hair. She walks down the edge.

"What are you doing?" Mako asks, confused or surprised or worried she doesn't know. She isn't looking at him.

"Cliff diving." She answers, and then she jumps.

She takes the fall, rushing and fast and full of adrenaline, the air surging very loud and very strong past her. She doesn't feel it. It doesn't dance on her fingers and doesn't go through within her unlike the other elements. It just passes her by and she wishes so much for it to engulf her.

She doesn't water bend the impact like she usually does, this time she takes the lashes that water gives her. She stays down for a while before going up until she feels the need to breath. When she opens her eyes she sees Mako hovering by the edge looking for her. She floats on her back and enjoys the way water sways and licks her skin. She hears a splash and when she straightens up Mako is there, swimming towards her. She resists the urge to water bend him back up the cliff.

"You're crazy." He says once his near.

"You're crazy for following."

He is shivering and Korra knows he's putting much effort into preventing his teeth from chattering. The water _is _cold after all. Not to mention they are swimming in the middle of the night.

"Let's get back before you catch a cold." She makes her way to swim towards the rocky wall of the cliff when she feels his hand on her arm again.

"Wait…"

She twists around to look at him. A silent _what?_ written on her face.

"I'm alright." He mutters.

Korra shakes her head.

"I'm sorry." He says yet again and before she could say anything he adds, "I just can't shake it away."

She is silent. She knows how that feels, but hearing a heap of sorry is just too much and it's like Tenzin's sighs of disappointment (on her) and it's suffocating.

"I just forget sometimes that you're the Avatar. To me you're…more of Korra."

She doesn't know why her throat burns from his statement or why her heart beats like the size of a sky-bison. She just knows that her fingers are tingling again and if only they were on land she has probably started snapping them. And her lips, oh her lips, feels the ghost of a memory of a shared kiss.

Her hands unable to snap seek their way to his chest and then to his shoulders. Mako pulls her flush against him and puts their foreheads together. She knows she has to push, push, and push but she doesn't. She couldn't find the will to.

"_I_ want to forget that I'm Korra, because most of the time I don't feel like the Avatar. It feels more like a title. I don't get things done and I'm supposed to do _more_."

"You do things, a lot."

It's a nice attempt for Mako to cheer her up but they both don't know how it should go because it's Bolin's job to cheer her up. It's a bad excuse for closure because they can't seem to end anything as they always return to the start. And Asami's there too. Mako's breath is on hers that she can almost taste it and their lips are oh so painfully close. She pulls away. She remembers.

She remembers.

She counts again.

One is for Pain. Two is for Guilt. Three is for Regret. Four is for Asami. And Five is for Bolin. Tahno makes Six. Tahno's weary burdened face, how could she forget?

Korra swims away from him. She earth bends a makeshift stair on the façade of the cliff.

"Let's go." She calls to him, her voice as cold as the water.

When they reach the top she dries them with water bending and scurries to dress up. She walks back to the house briskly and Mako has to sprint on a few steps to be at pace with her.

"Korra…" He begins. She will have none of it though.

"I meant what I said."

Mako reaches out for her hand or her shoulder or her arm again she doesn't know. But there is One Two Three Four Five and a Six. So he fails.

"I…" He tries again.

"Asami needs you." _I don't need you, _is left to hang loudly and they hear it both.

Pushing and pulling, she thinks, it's a thing now. It's not just with water bending anymore.

* * *

Sometime ago, _them_ was Mako and Bolin. And then _them_ became Mako and Bolin plus Korra. Now, _them _is Mako with Asami, and Bolin.

To Korra, labeling becomes a habit, building forts a leisure, and counting an obsession.

So she trains and meditates. Breathe. She has to learn how to not drown in air.

* * *

**Please Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Legend of Korra.

**A/N: **TO those who have long awaited a new chapter: I am terribly sorry for this late update. I was sort of worried that I might disappoint you if the next chapter couldn't have lived to your expectations especially when I received such wonderful reviews. Anyway, I can't prolong this and hide forever so here is your new chapter in Asami's POV. (Next chapter would be in Mako's POV.)

DISREGARD ANY OTHER DIFFERENCES FROM THE SHOW BECAUSE THIS IS A FANFIC.

POST "_TURNING THE TIDES_" UP TO "SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET."

THIS IS NONLINEAR.

* * *

_**Asami in Rags**_

"They said they'll be arriving in three days." Korra says, relaying the message she's received from the United Forces.

"Three days, huh, that's too long." Mako sighs.

"Oh yeah..." Bolin groans his agreement.

Asami doesn't think three days is too long. It's better than waiting for a week, at least.

Korra and Mako shares a look, Bolin peeks at Korra, and Asami stares at them.

Korra then glances at her, Asami in turn looks straight at her very blue eyes, and suddenly the Avatar's eyes widens and she flushes as if she's caught red-handed and she is but Asami doesn't – never – comments. Korra looks down guiltily. Mako hangs his head, his eyes closed with his brows wrinkled in a frown. Bolin pretends he doesn't notice.

She's the only one who doesn't break her stare.

* * *

Nowadays, Asami's nose is always filled with the revolting smell of the dank never-ending sewers that has become their refuge. She hates it. She hates it so much with a passion, like how she hates that her father is on the other side of this war, like how she hates that she barely gets to take a daily bath, like how they're running around like pitiful rats, and like how she hates Mako being overly protective and overly caring to Korra. It's nauseating. _Disgusting._

The knowledge of whether it's her or them is blurred.

Asami gets the urge to pull out her finely manicured fingernails to see what's going to happen. She knows there will be blood and tears. And she imagines Mako rushing to her forgetting Korra for a moment, for a while, she hopes. She wishes she could keep him.

* * *

Somehow, in a series of unfortunate events, three days becomes five.

During the day they walk and walk and walk. Sometimes they sit, to rest for a minute or a second until they are on the run because suddenly there's a roar of the engines of Equalist motorcycles and mobiles. They run like scared prey but not really because they're just in hiding but it feels like they truly are captives in a den of hungry wolves. Her legs pop and crack under her but it's only in her mind because she's still running fast, fast, and faster. (They run on foot because riding on Naga screams Avatar like the red on top of Amon's poster and they don't need any more advertisement.) Her lungs threaten to burst and it doesn't feel anything like fighting, not at all, its closer to anger, to hate, but not really. Anger is much more vicious. There's another thing to add on her Hate List.

They scavenge for food, mostly fish — because Korra's a waterbender (she bends the fish out of the water quick enough for anyone to see) it's less risky and the way they make a beeline along the coast of Yue Bay to await the arrival of the fleet it's handy. Fruits become a luxury to her, no, food becomes a luxury to her. No rice, no bread, no meat, no desserts. But fish, and fish, and fish. Asami wonders how the people on the Northern and Southern Water Tribe could live with it. Oh yes, and the sea prunes. It makes her sick, sicker when she remembers a time when she can just ask her father to get her anything she wants to eat. Life of a _seemingly _fugitive doesn't suit her, how _not_ prissy she may be. When she puts the roasted fish on her mouth she feels a strong impulse to throw up. Don't even get her started on the soup from the refugees place.

They sleep without sleeping at all. It's only during an hour after midnight that Mako calls it a night. She knows he wishes they could afford more sleeping time especially when it's evident Korra's still strained and bags under Bolin's eyes are starting to become prominent. She wants to know what Mako sees in her. He fears she sees nothing with Korra a big sand in his eyes.

Mako always calls for first post even though everyone knows he's always and forever the only post until they have to wake up and change location. Their beds varying from bushes, under the bridge, building wreckage, and mostly sewers and more sewers because that's the place that the Equalists mostly doesn't bother to check. And that isn't the worst, because if anyone asks her the cold is more brutal. Her knees knock over each other as she curls into a ball and her teeth chatter between her lips. They huddle for warmth with Naga as their pillow, Bolin pushes himself against Korra's back and Mako half lays himself on her other side and puts a caressing hand over her hair.

Asami is on his other side. They don't do anything.

Yet, it's not what makes her spiteful. It's the red wrapped around Korra's neck that does.

When Asami closes her eyes there is only one thought: 'I wasn't born for this.'

* * *

Asami dreams of a time and a world forgotten; wherein when she is hurt her father is there to comfort her, when she is sad he consoles her, when she is in need he is by her side, when she is the only center of existence. She thought she has also found it in Mako.

When she wakes up she feels her heart cold as snow under her feet.

* * *

It's easy to pick out how Mako and Bolin are acquainted to the streets and how Korra easily adapts and knows how to live practical. She's an odd one out in that measly team of there's. The brothers know nooks and crannies of the city, perfect places to rest, to hide, and to sleep. Korra's great at hunting, on earth and sea. She skirts the edges of the city, a nearby forest, and comes back with a haul of game and a bag of forages. Asami liked those times the most when breakfast, lunch, and dinner isn't fish. But those times are rare.

Asami is the only one who doesn't have anything to contribute except for looking out for Naga and Pabu and fighting on random Equalists they tend to come across.

She realizes how suitable those three are. Young people who can live on their own in the streets. And she is reminded of Mako and Bolin's past, how they were orphaned with both parents in a very young age, how they strived in the cruel streets of this city, how hard it must have been to worry every day for food and shelter. She shudders. She doesn't want to imagine how she would manage on her own. No money, no one to run for help, no sanctuary. Everybody indifferent.

It occurs to her that she has no idea of what kind of life Mako really had until now.

Her pity for his misfortune disappears and is replaced with respect and admiration.

However, she feels envious of how Korra can fit in this picture. The sheltered Avatar in a band of ragtag teenagers who thwarts pursuers and laughs at a fire ferret's compromised tricks on boring days.

She thinks that maybe Korra's just good at adapting, or maybe, the Avatar is just someone who always lives a life of wandering.

* * *

Asami could have sworn that Mako also wanted to jump on the water the moment Korra dove to save the ships. That is why she wasn't at all surprised who he chose to go with when the time came. She deludes herself into thinking that it's because Korra can't face Amon alone and that General Iroh just had other plans.

* * *

It isn't the electric current that is shocking her body that pains Asami. No, it is the unmistakable truth that the one she loves is hurting her. Her father who had said he loves her more than anything in this world wants to kill her because she is blinded by friendship and love. He hates her now. He hates her because she chose her friends who are benders, the Avatar, and Mako; a street-rat firebender. She chose his enemies.

Asami terribly wants to cry, terribly wants to be hugged by her father and cry on his chest just like the way she did when she was still but a child. She terribly wants to tell him that indeed these benders had hurt her, these so-called friends of hers. They're stabbing her behind her back.

But she wouldn't cry and wouldn't tell her father anything, because just like them he is giving her the same pain that she has been suffering from. And the world, right now, is more important than any teenage drama. She knows that much.

Asami may have lived a high-maintenance life before but she sure isn't someone selfish.

* * *

As Asami gazes at her unconscious father, she finally realizes why he has fallen from grace. She finally understands how her sweet and gentle father could be a person so bitter and so cruel to wish for the destruction of benders — a kin and not a kin at the same time.

Misguided anger could lead to a man's unbecoming, Asami reckons.

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you everyone for your reviews! XD They truly made me happy and they also gave me the burden of trying harder to write another chapter. I'm truly glad that I have written something refreshing and deep for this fandom since this was actually a result of my frustration from the lack of character development of the LoK cast/team. I didn't think that I'd also be able to capture a good Makorra interaction/relationship. (They're hard to right together, especially Mako.)

Forgive me for the errors. Thank you thank you very much! And again, Please Review.


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